Staying connected
How to Video-Call the Grandkids
FaceTime and Zoom, made simple.
Seeing the grandkids’ faces shouldn’t take a degree in computers. If the camera, the buttons, and the apps all feel a little scary, you’re in exactly the right place. We’ll go one calm step at a time — and remember, there is no wrong button you can’t undo.
First, which app? It’s simpler than it looks
There are only really three to know — and the right one usually depends on what the family already has in their hands.
FaceTime
Apple to Apple
If you have an iPhone or iPad and so do the grandkids, FaceTime is already on your device — nothing to download. It’s the simplest choice when everyone is on Apple.
Zoom
Works on everything · good for groups
Zoom works on an iPhone, an Android phone, a tablet, or a computer — so it’s perfect when the family is a mix, or when you want to see several grandkids at once. Usually you just tap a link they send you.
If the family already uses it
A quick note: many families already chat on WhatsApp, and it does video calls too. If that’s what your family uses, you don’t need anything else — we can set it up the same patient way.
Not sure what everyone has? That’s a perfectly good first question to ask the family — or we can figure it out together during a quick help-by-phone-or-video session.
FaceTime, step by step
On an iPhone or iPad, FaceTime is already there waiting — you don’t need to download a thing. Here’s the whole call, start to finish.
- 1
Open FaceTime
Find the green FaceTime button on your home screen and tap it once.
- 2
Tap the New FaceTime button
Tap “New FaceTime” at the top, then start typing a grandchild’s name or phone number.
- 3
Pick the person and tap the green camera
Tap their name from the list, then tap the green camera button to start the call. You’ll hear it ringing.
- 4
To answer a call, tap the green Accept button
When someone calls you, the screen lights up. Tap the green button (Accept) to join, or the red button to decline. That’s all there is to it.
What every button on the screen does
- Red button: ends the call. Nothing breaks — just call back.
- Microphone (with a line through it): mutes you, so the other person can’t hear you. Tap again to un-mute.
- Camera (with a line through it): hides your video. Tap again to show your face.
- Flip camera: switches between showing your face and showing what you’re pointing at (handy for showing off the garden).
Want this written out larger and personalized for your exact phone? That’s a favorite part of our iPhone & iPad help.
Zoom, without the stress
With Zoom, the family usually does the hard part for you. They set up the call and send you a link by text or email. You just join.
- 1. Tap the link they sent. It’s a long blue line of text in a message or email. One tap opens Zoom.
- 2. Tap “Join.” If it asks, choose to join with video so they can see you, and with audio (sometimes called “Wi-Fi or cellular audio”) so you can hear and be heard.
- 3. Find your buttons along the bottom. The microphone mutes and un-mutes you; the camera shows or hides your face. Same idea as FaceTime — tap once to toggle.
The first time, Zoom may ask permission to use your camera and microphone. Say yes — it’s simply asking so the call can work.
Looking and sounding your best
A few small things make a big difference — and none of them are technical.
- Face a window or lamp. Light should fall on your face, not behind you — a bright window behind you turns you into a shadow.
- Prop the phone or tablet up. Lean it against a stack of books or use a little stand so you’re not holding it the whole call — your arm will thank you.
- Look at the little camera dot, not the screen, when you want to “make eye contact.” It feels odd at first, but it’s how the grandkids feel you’re looking right at them.
- Sit somewhere quiet. A TV or radio in the background makes it harder for everyone to hear.
If something goes sideways mid-call
It happens to everyone — even teenagers. Here’s the calm fix for the four most common hiccups.
They can’t hear me
You’re probably muted. Tap the microphone button so the line through it disappears. Still nothing? Turn your phone’s volume up.
The screen froze
Usually the internet hiccuped. Wait a few seconds. If it stays stuck, end the call with the red button and call back — it’ll be fine.
I see the ceiling / my forehead
The camera is just pointing the wrong way. Prop the phone up at eye level, or tap the flip-camera button if it’s showing the back camera.
I can’t see them
Your camera may be hidden. Tap the camera button so the line through it disappears. Their video off? Gently ask them to tap theirs.
A few words for anyone feeling nervous
Here’s the most important thing on this whole page:
There is no wrong button you can’t undo.
Tapping the wrong thing won’t break your phone, won’t cost you money, and won’t embarrass you. The worst that ever happens is the call ends — and you simply call back. The more you practice, the more it becomes second nature, usually faster than you’d expect.
The single best way to build confidence is one practice call with a patient helper — someone who won’t sigh, won’t rush, and is happy to do it three times. That can be a grandchild, or it can be us.
Turn it into something you look forward to
Once the first call goes well, two small things make it stick:
- Keep a simple card by your favorite chair. Just the few steps, written large — “Open FaceTime → tap their name → tap the green camera.” We leave one like this after every lesson.
- Pick a regular time. A standing Sunday-afternoon call gives everyone something to look forward to — and the more you do it, the easier it gets.
We do unhurried, one-on-one video-call lessons all over South Orange County — including video-call lessons in Rancho Santa Margarita — and it’s some of our very favorite work. You can read more about our patient senior tech help any time.
A few common questions
- I’m worried I’ll press the wrong button. Can I really break something?
- No. There is no button on a video call that you can’t undo. The worst that happens is the call ends — and you simply call back. Tapping mute, the camera, or even the red button is always reversible.
- Which app should I use to video-call my grandkids?
- If everyone has an iPhone or iPad, use FaceTime — it’s already installed. If the family is a mix of phones, or you want several people at once, use Zoom by tapping the link they send you. If your family already chats on WhatsApp, that works too.
- The other person can’t hear me — what’s wrong?
- You’re almost certainly muted. Look for a microphone button with a line through it and tap it once to turn your sound back on. If that’s not it, check that your phone’s volume is turned up.
Free checklist
Avoid Tech-Support Scams — a free, plain-English checklist
A simple one-page guide to keep by the phone or on the fridge — so you (or a parent) can spot the calls, texts, and pop-ups designed to scare people into paying. No fear-mongering, just clear, calm steps.
- The one rule that beats almost every scam
- The 6 warning signs in a call, text, or pop-up
- Exactly what to do instead — in plain words
- A printable page for the fridge or a family member
Want a patient person to practice with?
We’ll set up FaceTime, Zoom, or WhatsApp, walk you through it as many times as you like, and leave the steps written out large. No rushing, no jargon, no feeling silly.
OC Tech Neighbor · (949) 555-0142
Free 15-minute help call — no cost, no card. In your home or over the phone.
Serving Orange County, California.